Wine Making
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Living with Pain
   
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Are My Grapes Ready To Harvest?
Jim Bruce of Rist Canyon Vineyards discusses the factors involved in how to determine whether your grapes are ripe and ready for .....
Jim Bruce of Rist Canyon Vineyards discusses the factors involved in how to determine whether your grapes are ripe and ready for .....
Pain is an inevitable part of life. In living with a chronic
illness or chronic pain, pain is no stranger to us and we are
likely to endure more than the average person may endure. Much
of the pain that we experience cant be eliminated or treated,
so we have no choice but to learn to live with it. In my
struggle to learn how to do this and to still find meaning and
purpose in life I have learned many things and developed a new
relationship with my pain. As a mental health professional and a
person who lives with chemical sensitivity, fibromyalgia and
chronic fatigue syndrome, I deal with a great deal of pain
daily. In my own exploration of pain, and in my professional
experience, I have found there are several intertwined levels of
pain: the physical level, the emotional/psychological and the
spiritual level. Severe physical pain is likely to cause
emotional distress as one struggles to cope with feelings of
loss, grief and anger associated with diminished abilities or
changes in lifestyle or identity. In forming a new identity that
includes being ill, one may struggle with the spiritual pain of
existential aloneness. Questions such as Why me? And What is
the purpose of my life now? may arise.
I endure excruciating pressure, aching and pinching in my
muscles, joints, bones, and head and I live with excessive
fatigue and weakness. I have chronic headaches, which frequently
turn into migraines. I have severe aching and stabbing pains
throughout my gastrointestinal system and in my internal organs.
I also have a great deal of grief and loss in response to the
limits the illness imposes on me. For example, I have to
completely avoid common everyday chemicals such as perfumes, air
fresheners, pesticides, scented laundry products, and
disinfectants. In avoiding these substances this means that I
must also avoid people who may have these odors on their person.
A large part of my life is spent alone at home or doing outdoor
activities like walking or country rides. Even so, I have to be
careful to avoid lawn chemicals or pollutants in the air. It is
particularly painful and frustrating to be prevented from
participating in life as fully as I would like.
There is no doubt that pain on any level is unpleasant and
disrupting. It is only natural that our first response to it is
to want to eliminate it as quickly as possible with whatever
means are available. But I think there is a problem with how we
are taught to view and deal with pain. Our culture teaches that
pain is bad, unnecessary and should be quickly eliminated. If we
are not successful at eradicating our pain we are viewed as weak
or malingering. If we are in pain, then we (or our doctors or
medical science in general) have somehow failed. The message in
our society is that we should not feel. We are bombarded from
advertising, media, medical authorities, etc. That we should
never let ourselves feel any pain. The promise of pain relief is
everywhere. If we have a headache or stomachache or muscle
aches, or if we feel sad, lonely, anxious, depressed or shy we
should take a pill that will fix the symptom or feeling. And
then we wonder why one of our largest problems in society today
is addiction. This attitude actively promotes addiction. We are
obsessed in finding and providing quick fixes and quick relief
from every little ache, twinge, pain, grief or discomfort. In
the reality of my life, I have found there are no quick fixes
and pain generally cannot be completely removed or controlled.
Nor should it be. Some pain is necessary and serves a purpose as
a messenger. We must often learn to live with pain effectively
and listen to it rather than always trying to medicate it away.
Although I do not subscribe to the popular New Age belief that
everything happens for a reason, I do believe that we can take a
very painful experience and make meaning out of it. In spite of
the suffering illness may impose on our lives it may also help
us to change, grow and learn. My illness has challenged me to
redefine my identity, my values and my priorities, which led me
to find deeper meaning in life. I have also found a strong
connection to nature.
The body is very wise. We need to honor this wisdom because
sometimes pain can be a signal that we need to change something
in our diet, environment, lifestyle or our relationships. In
this way, pain can be a great motivator. If we listen closely to
our pain and pay attention to our body and our states of mind,
our discoveries may guide us to what we need to do to reduce our
Seduced By A Princess
Tim tried hard not to stare at her very endowed breasts as she
leaned over exposing them to him while pouring another round.
Her tight pull over top with a .....
pain. I have found that some of my own muscle and joint pains,Tim tried hard not to stare at her very endowed breasts as she
leaned over exposing them to him while pouring another round.
Her tight pull over top with a .....
as well as depression and anxiety, have been triggered or made
worse by food allergies, certain chemicals and by nutritional
deficiencies. I eliminated wheat and refined white sugar and
became free of the anxiety attacks and severe depression that
crippled me since my teenage years. By correcting a magnesium
deficiency, I reduced chronic muscle pain by half. My pain has
also taught me to become more outspoken and expressive, to get
more sleep, to exercise according to my needs and to decrease
stress. Pain has taught me to live more consciously within my
limits.
Some pain should never be limited or eliminated too quickly,
even if it may feel overwhelming. The loss of a relationship or
death of a loved one as well as the loss and grief one
experiences living with chronic illness should be felt fully and
mourned. The pain should run its natural course, otherwise it
may cause difficulties later.
Then there is the insidious kind of pain that seems to have no
message or purpose. Or by the time we realize what the message
or purpose is, there is already permanent damage done to the
body. It is often excruciating, disruptive and untreatable. For
this category of pain, I found I must go into it. What does
this mean? I allow myself to acknowledge and fully experience my
frustration, resentment, grief and outrage over my suffering. I
also allow myself to feel and experience the physical pain in
its entirety. I embrace it and become one with it. I surrender
to it and I flow along with it and allow it to flow through me.
I must come to accept it and learn to function within it. I must
make pain my companion rather than my enemy. I have found that
if I fully accept, rather than resist, the pain in this way then
it no longer has the same power over my life. Initially in my
illnesses I did a lot of cure chasing which eventually led me to
realize that I was wasting a lot of time, energy and money. I
found that I made more progress when I focused on learning how
to live with my illness and within my limits.
Learning to live with pain is a difficult process. It is not a
recipe that is the same for everyone. It does, however, require
a commitment to ourselves and a willingness to confront and
challenge our social conditioning. We must give ourselves
permission to feel without labels, judgments or time limits. We
must let go of societies expectations and listen to our internal
wisdom. It is important to support people in their efforts to
listen to their internal wisdom and to validate their findings.
At times it may be hard for us to hear the messages carried in
our pain or to appreciate them because the pain is too great.
There may be setbacks into old thinking patterns and we may not
be able to accept, flow and find meaning for a while. We may
feel angry at our fate. All of this is part of the natural
coping process, too, and it needs to be felt and respected. In
no way does the fact that pain carries valuable messages for us
minimize the frustration and suffering one endures, but I
believe it is possible and necessary to honor both the wisdom
received and the suffering.
About the author:
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., writer, educator,
therapist/advisor/coach and Holistic Health Consultant
Specializing in Life Management and Support for Living with
Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, and Disability as well as
Sexuality and Sexual Intimacy. FREE Newsletter and FREE 30
minute Consultation http://www.holistichelp.netl