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Lightening the Load: Time to Stop Living With the Past




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Lightening the Load: Time to Stop Living With the Past By Janet

L. Hall and Paula Langguth Ryan



Someone recently wrote to share how her husband and his siblings

banded together to *clean out* her father-in-law's home, which

she likened to an indoor junkyard. After they had filled the

dumpster, her sister-in-law pointed at the contents and said to

her father, *This is what you were loving while we were growing

up. These were the children you were spending time with and we

grew up with them and hated them and were jealous of them.*



He never knew they felt this way. And he certainly wouldn't have

chosen to lighten his load this way. Yet it's sometimes a hard

fact that the treasures and *stuff* we accumulate during our

lifetime have a profound impact on our families, on ourselves

and on our ability to have a prosperous life.



Luckily, there are a few simple steps you can take to free

yourself from the clutter of the past and mend fences in your

family. Start by asking yourself a few simple questions about

the things you are hanging on to:



~~ Why are you afraid to get rid of these things?



~~ What do they represent to you?



~~ How long are you going to carry this stuff around with you?



~~ How have your treasures and *stuff* affected your family?



~~ Are you hanging on to some stuff *just in case?*



~~ Who said you have to hang on to these things?



Take action now to lighten your load before someone else decides

to lighten it for you. Here are seven tips to get you started.



1: Invite your children and grandchildren over to come get the

things that were theirs during their childhood. Donate, auction

off or simply throw away anything that's left. Brenda, a client

in her sixties, was holding on to her daughter's childhood

dolls, thinking she would one day want them. When Brenda asked,

she discovered her daughter didn't want them after all. She was

free to sell them, which brought her some extra income and freed

up valuable space.



2: Make a list of the treasures you're ready to part with now.

Then write down the names of friends and family members who have

admired these items. Write down or record a story for each item,

then throw a dinner party for these friends and family members.

Share the stories with them as you pass along the gifts. Or give

them as holiday or birthday presents.



3: Tap into the flow of giving and receiving by passing along

treasures you want people to inherit, so you can see the joy in

giving and in receiving while you're still around. Be sure to

write down and relate a story about the item.



4: Weigh an item's cost to you in terms of stress and upkeep. If

you have a number of valuables -- such as collectibles,

antiques, linens or pictures -- the expense of insurance, the

worry of possible theft and the time spent on cleaning can be

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overwhelming. One 77-year old woman, Mary, has so much

Depression-era glass on display in her house it takes her three

days a week to dust them all. What's your joy-to-stuff ratio on

these items in your home? Passing along or selling these items

now will cut down on your stress level and save you money on

insurance premiums.



5: Avoid any fighting and bickering over who gets what items.

Write a letter like the one Janet's mother-in-law wrote, that

simply states: *I hope we raised you well enough not to argue

over possessions. Your family and dedication are more important

than things. So I'm sure you won't argue over who gets what.* As

you tell your tales, explain why you selected a certain person

to receive a certain item. This will go a long way toward

alleviating any ill feelings. Remind them that it's the memory

that matters, not the item itself. Encourage anyone who isn't

the keeper of the item -- but cherishes the item as well -- to

get a copy of the story about the item. They can always read the

story, and visit the item.



6: Eliminate items that truly don't have value any more. How

many button boxes or jars of nails do you really need? Most of

what you're saving isn't probably usable anymore anyway.

Partially opened tubes of caulk, cans of paint or stain, tape,

old twine, old spools of thread and elastic all go bad over the

years. Throw out anything that is cluttering up your home and

drawing your attention away from your family.



7: Unburden yourself from things that are tying you to the past.

Is your basement or attic still packed with things from

yesteryear? One man's basement had a six-foot mirror that had

been shipped over from Europe, and was still in its shipping

crate nearly fifty years later! Do you have a *shrine* to a

late mate or beloved child? Keep one or two *memory items* and

release the rest. Otherwise, you'll always be indebted to the

past instead of free to face the future.



Above all else, don't make excuses, don't assess blame and don't

postpone the need to lighten your load. Too many seniors today

are faced with a limited income and worries about how they will

make ends meet. Your clutter is acting as a stopper to your

prosperity. You can generate much needed income and free up

space for even more money to come to you simply by releasing

some of your treasures. You'll spend less time cleaning and

dusting, and have more free time to do all the things you want

to do.



Travel, take up a new hobby, volunteer, play with your

grandchildren, create a playroom for yourself or your

grandchildren. After all, what do you want to be remembered for

your possessions or your joy for life?



About the author:

Professional Organizer Janet L. Hall and Contemporary Prosperity

Advisor Paula Langguth Ryan are the originators of the Enough Is

Enough! seminar series. Their unique 3-hour adventures in money,

clutter and time management are designed exclusively to help you

tap your true potential and achieve better balance in your life.

For more information about upcoming local seminars, and their

services and products, visit http://www.overhall.com



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