Wine Making
|
|
Getting Your Needs Met
   
|
Romance On A Budget
Valentine's Day is often synonymous with lush velvety looking red
roses and spending big bucks on your sweetie. You're blinded by
advertisements touting the latest luxury jewelry, over-priced .....
Valentine's Day is often synonymous with lush velvety looking red
roses and spending big bucks on your sweetie. You're blinded by
advertisements touting the latest luxury jewelry, over-priced .....
Getting Your Needs Met by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
Excerpted from The Lovemaking Smorgasbord A Couples Menu for
Feeding Passion & Fidelity.
http://www.smolderingembers.com/smorgasbord.html
Infidelity can occur for a variety of reasons; boredom, ego,
power, emotional pain, a partners loss of desire and addiction
to name the most common, but what I have learned from my
interactions with couples is that the key factor leading to
dissatisfaction in their sex lives and unfaithfulness is one or
all of the following: an inability to recognize what their
sexual and emotional needs are, an inability to effectively
communicate these needs to their partner and an inability or
unwillingness to meet the needs of their partner.
Knowing what your needs are is essential to getting your needs
met. Getting your needs met is essential to happiness and
satisfaction in your relationship. Having your needs met and
meeting the needs of your partner is basically what a
relationship is about. When your needs are not met, then you are
unhappy with your relationship.
We have the need for love, support, affection, housing, money,
companionship, friendship, and sex to name a few. Then within
each of those needs are many other needs. For instance, within
our need for sex we may need intellectual stimulation, we may
need to be touched in a certain spot, we may need lots of
foreplay, we may need naughty talk, we may need emotional
closeness, we may need it several times a week while others may
need silence and only once a month. Everyone's needs are
A Letter Of Congratulation To George Bush
Dear Bush,
I must first of all apologize for not including my address on this letter. In this age of terrorism, one should be wary of disclosing private addresses in public places. So I decided .....
different. In a relationship, we learn what each other's needsDear Bush,
I must first of all apologize for not including my address on this letter. In this age of terrorism, one should be wary of disclosing private addresses in public places. So I decided .....
are and then meet them for one another the best that we can.
In order to get your needs met you must first know what your
needs are. You need to clearly define what your desires and
wants are, what arouses you, what turns you off, and what your
emotional needs are. Emotional needs are just as important as
sexual and they are intertwined. If emotional needs are met, but
not the sexual, or if sexual needs are met, but not the
emotional, then dissatisfaction will ensue.
Theres a tendency for partners with an unhappy sex life to
downplay their sexual needs and minimize their importance. Oh
its just sex they may try to assure themselves. They try to
convince themselves that its okay, but they are resentful and
unhappy. Sexual needs are just as important as any other need
and should not be minimized or ignored.
We often joke that men dont understand women, but this is a two
way street. Women often dont understand men either. Some needs
are different for males than they are for females and some are
the same. These differences need to be understood and respected.
Unmet needs result in frustration, anger, resentment, and even
depression, which ultimately wreck havoc on the relationship
when unresolved. At the very least it leaves you feeling
unhappy, dissatisfied and unfulfilled and at worst leaves you at
high risk for infidelity.
No mate can meet absolutely every need you have, but they should
meet enough of them that you can have a satisfying, fulfilling
relationship. The ones that are your biggest priority should be
met, and both partners needs should be met, not just his or
hers. There should be a healthy balance between the both of you.
Once you have clarified what your needs are, you must examine
whether your partner is meeting those needs and if not, then
determine how you can get those needs met. To get those needs
met then communicating them to your partner is the next step,
which we will discuss in more detail in the following chapter.
I often hear from couples that they have not discussed their
needs with their partner. For many it is very difficult.
Sometimes they dont know how or they are afraid of rejection or
criticism or they are just uncomfortable talking about sex.
Theres a great deal of dishonesty and hiding of true selves and
desires. For a successful satisfying relationship you must take
the risk and share your true self honestly. Sometimes a partner
doesnt meet a particular need because they dont understand how
important it is to you. You must be willing to communicate.
About the author:
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex counselor/educator and author
helping monogamous couples increase sexual satisfaction, be
What You Can Learn From The Movie Business
Maybe everything you need to know you can learn from the movies. A friend of mine is a screenwriter in Los Angeles. Over a glass of wine, we were discussing his business .....
better lovers and keep the passion alive. She is also author ofMaybe everything you need to know you can learn from the movies. A friend of mine is a screenwriter in Los Angeles. Over a glass of wine, we were discussing his business .....
the hot new sex guide for couples titled, "The Lovemaking
Smorgasbord - A Couple's Menu for Feeding Passion & Fidelity."
http://www.smolderingembers.com/smorgasbord.html