Wine Making
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Alone This Valentines Day? First Of All, No, You Arent. Secondly, Here Are Some Ways to ^Defend^ You
   
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Romantic Gifts 10 Sizzling Ways To Give Them
When it comes to giving a romantic gift, its not just what you give, but how you give it. For the most impact, creativity is more .....
When it comes to giving a romantic gift, its not just what you give, but how you give it. For the most impact, creativity is more .....
Valentine's Day can range from annoying to dreadful when you
aren't paired, so let's put a new spin on this!
You probably feel sorry for yourself because you're the Only One
who's alone, but if you're alone you're NOT alone. According to
the American Association for Single people, 82 million men and
women in the United States are unmarried.
If you define adults as those over 18, 44% of US adults are
single. By 2010, it should be 47.2%. That's getting very close
to half. What will we do then? Rename the holiday? Abolish it?
Or will those of us who are single rise up and demand our OWN
Super Tan At SuperClub In Negril, Jamaica
Super Tan at SuperClub in Negril, Jamaica
Read Jetsetters Magazine at www.jetsettersmagazine.com
To read this entire feature FREE with photos cut and paste this link:
misconception is that they're all "bad," but actually we need
our defense mechanisms. They're helpful! We need our defense
mechanisms to:
1. Minimize anxiety 2. Protect the ego 3. Maintain repression
a.It prevents discomfort b.It leads to some economy of time and
effort
I'm sure you're with me now that if you plan to, um, GET THROUGH
VALENTINE'S DAY AS A SINGLE, a defense mechanism or 10 might
come in handy.
So here we go.
DEFENSE, DEFINITION & APPLICATION
1. Affiliation: Dealing with emotional conflict and stressors
(hereinafter referred to as "it") by turning to others for help
or support. Valentine Application (VA): This is a great defense!
Call your coach! Commiserate with friends. Talk to your sweet
Mom.
2. Aim Inhibition: Limiting ^instinctual demands^, accepting
partial fulfillment. VA: Invite a platonic boyfriend out for
Valentine's Day and pretend it's all you really wanted. Who
needs mad, passionate sex when you can talk about QuikBooks for
three hours at Chili's, right?
3. Altruism: Deal with it by meeting the needs of others. VA: Do
as I've done. Choose someone to shower with your affection - a
grand-daughter works! Go out and buy all the things you'd want
yourself - perfume, flowers, fluffy pink sweater, do it up big!
Wrap 'em up, carry them over there, take her out and wine and
dine her and savor! Feels great!
reactions in advance of possible future events and considering
realistic alternative responses or solutions. VA: Well, that's
what we're doing here. We're circumventing a lousy Valentine's
Day, and making our plans otherwise. How cool is that?
5. Avoidance: Deal with it by refusal to encounter situations
because they represent ^unconscious sexual or aggressive
impulses^. VA: Well, that would be Valentine's Day. You could
cancel your own personal one.
6. Compensation: Encountering failure in one sphere of activity
(like love life?), you over-emphasize another. VA: Let's do a
clean-the-house marathon, or workout for 5 hours after work
Friday. 7. Self-assertion: Expressing feelings and thoughts
directly, non-manipulatively. VA: Go for it! Ask that cute new
HR director out.
8. Sublimation: Attenuating the force of an ^instinctual drive^
by using the energy in other, constructive activities. VA: So,
we work late Valentine's Day, finishing up a primo project, or
go home and write poetry or paint. Good idea?
9. Intellectualization: Deal with it by excessive use of
abstract thinking or making generalizations to minimize
disturbing feelings. VA: We could talk about how nearly half the
other adults in the US are also single, and it ain't so bad.
Anyway it's not bothering ME. How about that?
LET'S AVOID THESE ONES:
1. Conversion: Turn it into a physical symptom "involving
portions of the body innervated by sensory or motor nerves." VA:
No getting of paralyzed arms because you'd really like to sock
your ex.
2. Deflection: Redirecting attention to someone else. VA: Don't
need to talk about "Loser-boy Tom." We can deal with our own
stuff!
3. Identification: Unconscious modeling of one's self upon
another person. VA: Sandra's got a great husband and she's going
to Quebec for Valentine's weekend, but that doesn't mean we have
to dress and talk like her all week without ^being aware of it^.
drive^ is to be satisfied. VA: Having been abandoned by your
boyfriend, resist all urges to vent your anger on your
room-mate! Keep your people and your emotions straight, ok? (EQ
course available--www.susandunn.cc/courses.htm.)
5. Help-Rejecting Complaining: Requesting help and then
rejecting it. VA: (I think that's whining, and playing the
victim, don't you?)
6. Acting Out: Dealing with it by actions rather than
reflections of feelings. VA: Don't get crabby and kick the dog,
or go out and get drunk.
7. Projection: Attributing one's thoughts or impulses to another
person. VA: No, your mother isn't mad at YOU, YOU'RE mad at your
GIRLFRIEND. Keeping people and feelings straight again.
8. Regression: Suffering the loss of some of the development
already attained and reverting to lower level of adaptation and
expression. VA: None of that!
9. Autistic Fantasy: Deal with it by excessive daydreaming as a
substitute for human relationships, more effective action, or
problem solving. VA: This is why we all hate Freud!!
P.S. Work in an office? Send yourself flowers. Like half those
other girls aren't doing that?
About the author:
Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, offers coaching and Internet courses
for your personal and professional development. www.susandunn.cc
and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. Give yourself what
you've always wanted--a coach! Valentine's gift certificates
available.
Super Tan at SuperClub in Negril, Jamaica
Read Jetsetters Magazine at www.jetsettersmagazine.com
To read this entire feature FREE with photos cut and paste this link:
misconception is that they're all "bad," but actually we need
our defense mechanisms. They're helpful! We need our defense
mechanisms to:
1. Minimize anxiety 2. Protect the ego 3. Maintain repression
a.It prevents discomfort b.It leads to some economy of time and
effort
I'm sure you're with me now that if you plan to, um, GET THROUGH
VALENTINE'S DAY AS A SINGLE, a defense mechanism or 10 might
come in handy.
So here we go.
DEFENSE, DEFINITION & APPLICATION
1. Affiliation: Dealing with emotional conflict and stressors
(hereinafter referred to as "it") by turning to others for help
or support. Valentine Application (VA): This is a great defense!
Call your coach! Commiserate with friends. Talk to your sweet
Mom.
2. Aim Inhibition: Limiting ^instinctual demands^, accepting
partial fulfillment. VA: Invite a platonic boyfriend out for
Valentine's Day and pretend it's all you really wanted. Who
needs mad, passionate sex when you can talk about QuikBooks for
three hours at Chili's, right?
3. Altruism: Deal with it by meeting the needs of others. VA: Do
as I've done. Choose someone to shower with your affection - a
grand-daughter works! Go out and buy all the things you'd want
yourself - perfume, flowers, fluffy pink sweater, do it up big!
Wrap 'em up, carry them over there, take her out and wine and
dine her and savor! Feels great!
Homemade Wine Making Kit
Homemade Wine Making Kits: Start A New Hobby With Ease
Lucille Ball helped to comically bring images of the painstaking process of wine making to millions of .....
4. Anticipation: Deal with it by experiencing emotionalHomemade Wine Making Kits: Start A New Hobby With Ease
Lucille Ball helped to comically bring images of the painstaking process of wine making to millions of .....
reactions in advance of possible future events and considering
realistic alternative responses or solutions. VA: Well, that's
what we're doing here. We're circumventing a lousy Valentine's
Day, and making our plans otherwise. How cool is that?
5. Avoidance: Deal with it by refusal to encounter situations
because they represent ^unconscious sexual or aggressive
impulses^. VA: Well, that would be Valentine's Day. You could
cancel your own personal one.
6. Compensation: Encountering failure in one sphere of activity
(like love life?), you over-emphasize another. VA: Let's do a
clean-the-house marathon, or workout for 5 hours after work
Friday. 7. Self-assertion: Expressing feelings and thoughts
directly, non-manipulatively. VA: Go for it! Ask that cute new
HR director out.
8. Sublimation: Attenuating the force of an ^instinctual drive^
by using the energy in other, constructive activities. VA: So,
we work late Valentine's Day, finishing up a primo project, or
go home and write poetry or paint. Good idea?
9. Intellectualization: Deal with it by excessive use of
abstract thinking or making generalizations to minimize
disturbing feelings. VA: We could talk about how nearly half the
other adults in the US are also single, and it ain't so bad.
Anyway it's not bothering ME. How about that?
LET'S AVOID THESE ONES:
1. Conversion: Turn it into a physical symptom "involving
portions of the body innervated by sensory or motor nerves." VA:
No getting of paralyzed arms because you'd really like to sock
your ex.
2. Deflection: Redirecting attention to someone else. VA: Don't
need to talk about "Loser-boy Tom." We can deal with our own
stuff!
3. Identification: Unconscious modeling of one's self upon
another person. VA: Sandra's got a great husband and she's going
to Quebec for Valentine's weekend, but that doesn't mean we have
to dress and talk like her all week without ^being aware of it^.
Diversify!
The best way to avoid being hit hard by a stock market crash or another Enron/Worldcom fiasco is to make sure you don't put all your eggs in one basket. .....
4. Displacement: Change in the object by which the ^instinctualThe best way to avoid being hit hard by a stock market crash or another Enron/Worldcom fiasco is to make sure you don't put all your eggs in one basket. .....
drive^ is to be satisfied. VA: Having been abandoned by your
boyfriend, resist all urges to vent your anger on your
room-mate! Keep your people and your emotions straight, ok? (EQ
course available--www.susandunn.cc/courses.htm.)
5. Help-Rejecting Complaining: Requesting help and then
rejecting it. VA: (I think that's whining, and playing the
victim, don't you?)
6. Acting Out: Dealing with it by actions rather than
reflections of feelings. VA: Don't get crabby and kick the dog,
or go out and get drunk.
7. Projection: Attributing one's thoughts or impulses to another
person. VA: No, your mother isn't mad at YOU, YOU'RE mad at your
GIRLFRIEND. Keeping people and feelings straight again.
8. Regression: Suffering the loss of some of the development
already attained and reverting to lower level of adaptation and
expression. VA: None of that!
9. Autistic Fantasy: Deal with it by excessive daydreaming as a
substitute for human relationships, more effective action, or
problem solving. VA: This is why we all hate Freud!!
P.S. Work in an office? Send yourself flowers. Like half those
other girls aren't doing that?
About the author:
Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, offers coaching and Internet courses
for your personal and professional development. www.susandunn.cc
and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. Give yourself what
you've always wanted--a coach! Valentine's gift certificates
available.